Miraculous

Just thinking about how these little guys came from a fruit

that we smashed to bits a couple weeks ago blows my mind.

I had never stopped to think about how amazing seeds are until I went out to Budondo this week and saw the thousands upon thousands of tiny little germinated seedlings speckled across our nursery beds. A little nondescript seed gets planted in the right mix of manure and soil. Then you water it with care every morning and every night and some magical process happens below the ground (I really really want to take a plant biology class now so I know precisely how this magical process works!). And then up springs a baby tree that will grow into a big tree that will supply one of the women in our group with a sustainable source of income and nutrition.

Miraculous.

The more time I spend around seeds and trees and such, the more I soak in their lessons. And the biggest lesson of all is trust. We always seem to trick ourselves into believing that we're in control, that if we only push hard enough, strive far enough, press long enough then we'll be able to force life to go our way. We subconsciously believe that if we don't push against the tide and assert ourselves against the "battles" life throws our way, our needs will not be met and our lives will not be right. I'm noticing in my own life that this all comes down to trust: if you fully, completely trust that everything will turn out all right regardless and that you have everything you need inside of you, then you no longer fear letting go. You no longer feel the need to worry or to stress or to overwork yourself towards a narrow goal. And while I have moments of openness and acceptance that remind me that yes, every little thing will be all right, I have yet to reach this complete level of trust.

Trees are the perfect teachers of trust. They don't try to be strong and beautiful and giving and serene, they just are. It reminds me of a lovely afternoon walk with Sabrina Ward Harrison (http://www.sabrinawardharrison.com/ee/) when our workshop group paused in front of a gorgeous tree and Sabrina said, "Look at this tree. It didn't work to become itself, it didn't try, it didn't think, it just did." Spend even one minute of quiet time with a tree and you'll begin to feel its peace permeate your skin and work its way into your soul. You'll realize, even for a moment, that you have nothing to worry about in this world. That if you let go and let yourself grow untethered by ego and pressure and self-imposed expectations, you will become your own miracle too.

Another reason why I should drop out of school and take a job with an organic agriculture NGO here? Just kidding (well, sort of...)

Much love and happy weekend :)

TREES = LOVE

So I'm pretty tired from an action-packed weekend in Budondo (a.k.a. land of the trees) but I just wanted to quickly give a tree update. This past week has been so exciting, because our group has completed two trainings: on Thursday we (and by we I mean the group) planted 110 trees (well, not all 110 have been planted quite yet, but most of them have!)and on Sunday we constructed a full-out nursery bed and planted mango, passion fruit, and papaya seeds that will now start to grow!!!! Somehow that doesn't all sound as exciting in writing as it is in reality, but trust me, it has been SO SO SO SO SO exciting to watch it all unfold. Seriously, these women are so strongly motivated to plant these trees and it is the most -- dare I say it -- heart-warming and inspiring thing in the world to see them out there in the sun, in the dirt, barefoot, digging the earth from which their trees will grow. And yesterday, oh my goodness, it blew my mind to see this flat barren plot of land turn into a nursery bed where little baby trees are germinating right now as I write this! Yesterday was a long day -- for the women especially, many of whom are older ladies -- and even without lunch, we all stuck around from the morning until 5 in the evening to lay that nursery bed and let me tell you, I have never been prouder of anyone than I was of the women who worked tirelessly all day and completed that training and laid that bed. One of the things I've been noticing is that while Patrick and his buddy Kabi are absolutely extraordinary and humble leaders for the group, the women themselves (who form 97% of the group's membership) aren't in big leadership roles the majority of the time. So after completing this really intensive training, the women are going to serve as the trainers for the big group nursery training this week. They are so devoted to this, and it's going to be really imperative to cultivate their leadership within the project in order for our whole initiative to succeed. Anyway, it meant so much to be able to hug them at the end of the day yesterday and know that they were IN this with me FOR REAL. We are in this crazy tree thing together now, and I am ecstatic at how it's going. On a more personal level, I have felt this incredible convergence of openness and energy and love this past week as I've been doing all this tree stuff with my group. It struck me that when I was actually excited to wake up on a Saturday and Sunday morning and bike for two hours in the sun to go do this work, that means this really is good work. I'm realizing that when your work is good and fills you up and sparks something in you, you are so much more motivated to actually DO it. I even finished my draft for my grant proposal now, so we'll be in good shape to proceed (that is if the grant is granted... yikes...). Haha now if only I could feel this good about writing papers for school!

Alright, good night! Stay tuned for more updates, and for pictures when I get ahold of a darn camera cord. Lots and lots of love.