Miraculous

Just thinking about how these little guys came from a fruit

that we smashed to bits a couple weeks ago blows my mind.

I had never stopped to think about how amazing seeds are until I went out to Budondo this week and saw the thousands upon thousands of tiny little germinated seedlings speckled across our nursery beds. A little nondescript seed gets planted in the right mix of manure and soil. Then you water it with care every morning and every night and some magical process happens below the ground (I really really want to take a plant biology class now so I know precisely how this magical process works!). And then up springs a baby tree that will grow into a big tree that will supply one of the women in our group with a sustainable source of income and nutrition.

Miraculous.

The more time I spend around seeds and trees and such, the more I soak in their lessons. And the biggest lesson of all is trust. We always seem to trick ourselves into believing that we're in control, that if we only push hard enough, strive far enough, press long enough then we'll be able to force life to go our way. We subconsciously believe that if we don't push against the tide and assert ourselves against the "battles" life throws our way, our needs will not be met and our lives will not be right. I'm noticing in my own life that this all comes down to trust: if you fully, completely trust that everything will turn out all right regardless and that you have everything you need inside of you, then you no longer fear letting go. You no longer feel the need to worry or to stress or to overwork yourself towards a narrow goal. And while I have moments of openness and acceptance that remind me that yes, every little thing will be all right, I have yet to reach this complete level of trust.

Trees are the perfect teachers of trust. They don't try to be strong and beautiful and giving and serene, they just are. It reminds me of a lovely afternoon walk with Sabrina Ward Harrison (http://www.sabrinawardharrison.com/ee/) when our workshop group paused in front of a gorgeous tree and Sabrina said, "Look at this tree. It didn't work to become itself, it didn't try, it didn't think, it just did." Spend even one minute of quiet time with a tree and you'll begin to feel its peace permeate your skin and work its way into your soul. You'll realize, even for a moment, that you have nothing to worry about in this world. That if you let go and let yourself grow untethered by ego and pressure and self-imposed expectations, you will become your own miracle too.

Another reason why I should drop out of school and take a job with an organic agriculture NGO here? Just kidding (well, sort of...)

Much love and happy weekend :)

An open letter...

UPDATE: Okay, sorry this update is really delayed on my part, but here goes: We outraised our fundraising goal of $500 in just one week. The grand total came to $800, which meant we were able to loan the group 6 sewing machines instead of 5 (which works out much better because the group divided up into two smaller training groups that train at sites in two different villages, thus lessening the time it takes for the women to walk to their lessons) and pay for more quality materials (scissors, etc.). The group started training last week and are progressing so so well! I will post more info and some photos as soon as I can get ahold of a darn camera cord. Once again, thank you thank you thank you thank you to those of you who opened up your heart and followed the little spark inside you that compelled you to give up some of your own money for the benefit of complete strangers: you have made a WORLD of a difference already, I can tell. And those of you who tried to donate after the fundraising campaign was already closed, sorry that was totally my fault and I deeply appreciate your willingness to give. Okay more later.

Remember learning about potential energy in 11^th grade physics?
How energy is never created nor destroyed, only transformed?
(Or something like that... I hated physics and it was my worst subject.)

Well, every dollar in your bank account is endowed with potential energy,
and with every act of spending you are choosing what form that energy will take in the world.

Most of us, in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives,
forget to become conscious when we make that choice.

We are busy, we are tired, and we don't think twice before handing over
another $2 here for a soda, $5 there for a coffee, $10 there for a dinner out.

Just think back for a second:
what did you purchase with the last $10 you spent?

For me, it was two sodas, credit for my cell phone,
and a brownie (a damn good brownie at that!)

Now ask yourself:
were these conscious purchases charged with the intent to contribute to sustainable good in the world?

My answer: not one bit.
My brownie's pleasure rating? 10 out of 10!

Sustainability rating? Umm... zero.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with buying these little things for ourselves,
but when we rarely look past satisfying our short-term wants,
it sure doesn't make us feel right.

We feel small and forget that we are powerful.
We feel separate and forget that we are part of
an interconnected human organism that needs each and every one of us.
We feel empty and forget that we have big hearts
that light up and do cartwheels when we spread joy to others.

In short,

But when we wake up to the power each of us has to translate the energy of our money
– and our time, and our skills, and our actions –
into good for not only ourselves but for others,
we can begin to integrate little conscious acts
of empowered giving into our day-to-day lives.

Little acts of giving that fill you up way more than a brownie ever could.

I am bringing this to your attention because you

yes, you!


have the power to make the conscious choice
right now to contribute to something greater
than the temporary personal satisfaction of a caffeine fix or beer buzz,
something in line with the life-changing empowerment
of marginalized women a-half-a-world away.

A group of my friends in Budondo, Uganda
- 30 women living with AIDS while raising large families without a source of income –
have mobilized to start a small sewing and tailoring enterprise
that will put them on a path towards economic stability and self-reliance,
empowering them to gradually expand their livelihoods
and thereby reclaim control over their own lives.

• 
  

They don't have the financial capital to kick-start this venture,
and they're afraid to secure a microfinance loan locally because they were screwed over in the past
(think pay-day lending – by the time they could pay back their loan, it had tripled in size with interest and they lost everything).

Help fund an interest-free loan for these women to get started.

We need to raise $500 for 5 sewing machines and training materials.

The money you give – whatever amount – will multiply itself over and over as a contribution to the development of sustainable livelihoods that will not only strengthen the future prospects of these women,
but their children and communities as well.

Now,
I am not blind to the fact that we're all strapped for cash right now.
I don't even want to look at the balance of my bank account
because I know it won't be grounds for celebration.

But you know what is?

We are alive, we are breathing, and we do have everything we really need to get by.

One thing that being here in Uganda has taught me is that as “broke” as I am at any given moment,
I can always stock my refrigerator and put gas in my car and get a job at McDonald's to keep a roof over my head.

And that is worth celebrating.

In celebrating all that we have,
we can stop feeling lacking or worried about our finances
and start fostering gratitude,
recognizing the actual abundance in our lives.

And there's no stronger and truer way to
manifest our gratitude and express our abundance
than by giving –
giving a little, knowing that together we can do a lot.

I'm sure you've heard Margaret Mead's famous quote:

Well this isn't just about believing this,

it's about proving it.

And together we can.

We can be the small group
that really will change the worlds of these women in ways we can't even begin to imagine.

I can't come up with $500 on my own,
you can't come up with $500 on your own,
and these women sure as the sky is blue can't come up with $500 – let alone $5 – on their own.

But together we can.

I know this with every ounce of my being.
(And with all the brownies I've been eating lately, that's A LOT of ounces!!)

Okay, if that hasn't made you excited about parting with five or ten or twenty or [gasp] fifty tax-deductible dollars
to release positive energy into the world, I don't know what could!

Oh yeah... the women are committed to paying back this loan,
so in time if you so choose you will get your money back
(or you can choose to recycle it to another project).

How's that for painless?

So please consider being a part of this movement,

and thank you thank you thank you...

Come on... it's as easy as clicking this little button and typing in your credit/debit card number...

Thank you!

For more information, check out http://www.fsdinternational.org/donate/projects/4
Any questions can be sent to heidi.tenpas@gmail.com

TREES = LOVE

So I'm pretty tired from an action-packed weekend in Budondo (a.k.a. land of the trees) but I just wanted to quickly give a tree update. This past week has been so exciting, because our group has completed two trainings: on Thursday we (and by we I mean the group) planted 110 trees (well, not all 110 have been planted quite yet, but most of them have!)and on Sunday we constructed a full-out nursery bed and planted mango, passion fruit, and papaya seeds that will now start to grow!!!! Somehow that doesn't all sound as exciting in writing as it is in reality, but trust me, it has been SO SO SO SO SO exciting to watch it all unfold. Seriously, these women are so strongly motivated to plant these trees and it is the most -- dare I say it -- heart-warming and inspiring thing in the world to see them out there in the sun, in the dirt, barefoot, digging the earth from which their trees will grow. And yesterday, oh my goodness, it blew my mind to see this flat barren plot of land turn into a nursery bed where little baby trees are germinating right now as I write this! Yesterday was a long day -- for the women especially, many of whom are older ladies -- and even without lunch, we all stuck around from the morning until 5 in the evening to lay that nursery bed and let me tell you, I have never been prouder of anyone than I was of the women who worked tirelessly all day and completed that training and laid that bed. One of the things I've been noticing is that while Patrick and his buddy Kabi are absolutely extraordinary and humble leaders for the group, the women themselves (who form 97% of the group's membership) aren't in big leadership roles the majority of the time. So after completing this really intensive training, the women are going to serve as the trainers for the big group nursery training this week. They are so devoted to this, and it's going to be really imperative to cultivate their leadership within the project in order for our whole initiative to succeed. Anyway, it meant so much to be able to hug them at the end of the day yesterday and know that they were IN this with me FOR REAL. We are in this crazy tree thing together now, and I am ecstatic at how it's going. On a more personal level, I have felt this incredible convergence of openness and energy and love this past week as I've been doing all this tree stuff with my group. It struck me that when I was actually excited to wake up on a Saturday and Sunday morning and bike for two hours in the sun to go do this work, that means this really is good work. I'm realizing that when your work is good and fills you up and sparks something in you, you are so much more motivated to actually DO it. I even finished my draft for my grant proposal now, so we'll be in good shape to proceed (that is if the grant is granted... yikes...). Haha now if only I could feel this good about writing papers for school!

Alright, good night! Stay tuned for more updates, and for pictures when I get ahold of a darn camera cord. Lots and lots of love.