Miraculous

Just thinking about how these little guys came from a fruit

that we smashed to bits a couple weeks ago blows my mind.

I had never stopped to think about how amazing seeds are until I went out to Budondo this week and saw the thousands upon thousands of tiny little germinated seedlings speckled across our nursery beds. A little nondescript seed gets planted in the right mix of manure and soil. Then you water it with care every morning and every night and some magical process happens below the ground (I really really want to take a plant biology class now so I know precisely how this magical process works!). And then up springs a baby tree that will grow into a big tree that will supply one of the women in our group with a sustainable source of income and nutrition.

Miraculous.

The more time I spend around seeds and trees and such, the more I soak in their lessons. And the biggest lesson of all is trust. We always seem to trick ourselves into believing that we're in control, that if we only push hard enough, strive far enough, press long enough then we'll be able to force life to go our way. We subconsciously believe that if we don't push against the tide and assert ourselves against the "battles" life throws our way, our needs will not be met and our lives will not be right. I'm noticing in my own life that this all comes down to trust: if you fully, completely trust that everything will turn out all right regardless and that you have everything you need inside of you, then you no longer fear letting go. You no longer feel the need to worry or to stress or to overwork yourself towards a narrow goal. And while I have moments of openness and acceptance that remind me that yes, every little thing will be all right, I have yet to reach this complete level of trust.

Trees are the perfect teachers of trust. They don't try to be strong and beautiful and giving and serene, they just are. It reminds me of a lovely afternoon walk with Sabrina Ward Harrison (http://www.sabrinawardharrison.com/ee/) when our workshop group paused in front of a gorgeous tree and Sabrina said, "Look at this tree. It didn't work to become itself, it didn't try, it didn't think, it just did." Spend even one minute of quiet time with a tree and you'll begin to feel its peace permeate your skin and work its way into your soul. You'll realize, even for a moment, that you have nothing to worry about in this world. That if you let go and let yourself grow untethered by ego and pressure and self-imposed expectations, you will become your own miracle too.

Another reason why I should drop out of school and take a job with an organic agriculture NGO here? Just kidding (well, sort of...)

Much love and happy weekend :)